So here I sit, coughing away amongst the public, knowing that if it were someone else coughing then I'd be utterly disgusted but wanting only sympathy being sick myself.
I'm enjoying the girl in the fur coat reading, the gentleman in his 40s and a business suit using his iPad as a controller in a driving game, the crazed old woman muttering "hmm" to herself next to me.
I wonder what flash judgements people make of me. Today I'm the young woman in a blue lace dress with a 'slumming it' style hoody thrown on top. My hair is down and styled but I haven't got any makeup on. I would look at me and think "Fucking hell, go one way or the other."
But I can't walk in heels and already wake up too early.
In 1.5 weeks I will have moved into my new place and be sat on the other side of this platform in the waiting room without the toilets but trains that run every 15 minutes, as opposed to every 40. I'm starting to fear this big step, but there's no going back now.
Tuesday, 15 January 2013
Sunday, 6 January 2013
A New Year - The Six Month Update
It's been a little longer since my last blog post than it should have been.
I'd like to say that I've been especially busy, but in truth a lot of these past few months has been about settling in and finding my feet.
I never expected that launching into my adult life could be so hard and so easy all at the same time. There are so many aspects to it that have haunted most of my childhood, and yet coming face to face with them hasn't been all that bad. I feel as though a lot of adults - not so much my parents I should say, but others - take to scaring children and young adults with the horror of paying bills and mortgages while working long hours etc. I had a taste of bills and rent at university and couldn't understand the terror I'd had for them all that time prior. I assumed this was because I had a lot of spare time on my hands, and that perhaps I'd feel like those adults in my memory once I was busy with work. Except, now I'm employed and I still don't really understand the fuss. Of course, we'd all love to have buckets of free money and not have to work - but I don't think I ever saw that as a possibility, excepting instead the reality that I will work for a living and pay for a house.
What's hard, is the age-old frustration of wanting to grow up even quicker. A large part of me wants to skip ahead to when I've sorted out my career, have a house of my own, a husband, some kids, a dog and two holidays a year. But I know that the lessons I learn at this age while I'm just starting out are going to be invaluable for me later in life - and perhaps some day I'll look back with nostalgia on the freedom of my current situation. Instead, there are so many things that I want - and I am near entirely clueless how to start on the path towards getting them.
So here's what I've been up to these last six months:
Graduated University with a Law Degree
I ended up achieving a 2:2 from Bangor University in the wonderfully academic and widely respected subject of Law. It was a bizarre subject choice for someone who is adamant she will have nothing to do with the law-related careers, but it's one that is respected as an academic discipline by employers. I particularly enjoy the looks and accompanying "Ooh." comments that my subject choice inspires. I've learned that people make assumptions that I have an academic/bookworm brain and come to expect intelligence and logic from me as a result. It is considered a sensible choice - and I'm glad that I ignored the education professionals who told me that if I wasn't going to be a lawyer than Law was a moronic choice.
Found a Job
I took me two months after I graduated, but I eventually found a customer services position. This is by no means my career - but until I've had some experience in what I think I may want to do, this is the perfect learning experience. I have been fortunate to find a position within a large global company whose revenue is over $39 billion a year. I am in one of the smaller divisions, working in a primarily customer care role which turned out to have surprisingly expansive different aspects to it. The job is varied and very fast-paced. I find that the hours in my day whizz past quite quickly. I have the opportunity to do quite a bit of overtime, as well as be part of a very large and very successful company. So far it has been an exciting experience for me - I have learned a lot about business, team-building and managerial technique. It has further confirmed my desire to be within an office environment and I have strange dreams of running meetings/presentations or lending my ideas of innovation to the current systems in place.
All in all, I'm enjoying my time there - and am incredibly grateful that they like me enough to have extended my contract as I still feel I can gain a lot from the role. It feels fantastic to finally have the opportunity to be a part of a larger company and experience things from a more formal and corporate stand-point.
Got my Own Place
The moment my manager informed me that my contract was going to be extended, I took it upon myself to find myself a place to live. After a couple of months of searching and working out how much I wanted to spend and where I wanted to live, I finally found a place I really love.
I have spent the last six months sleeping on my Dad's couch and living out of boxes or free-standing clothes rails. It's something I've been used to already through my uni years when I came home from the holidays - but long term I began to feel the familiar and entirely human desire for independence and my own space. I needed for my things to have a place, and to have a bed to sleep on.
This last Friday, I made my decision and went with the flat I loved the best. This particular room is part of a house share with four other people. But each double bedroom comes with it's own ensuite bathroom and kitchenette. There is a communal kitchen and lounge area, as well as a sizeable back-garden, that are all looked after by cleaners and gardeners on a weekly basis. My room is a decent size, recently refurbished too so everything is brand new - especially, to my delight, the mattress. I will have a double bed, as well as a wardrobe and chest of drawers thrown in. The kitchenette has a full size kitchen sink surrounded by counter tops and cupboards. There's a fridge and plans to put a microwave in there for me as well. The bathroom is small but functional, with a shower, sink, medicine cabinet and toilet. There are tv ports and wireless internet through-out the house. But my favourite part of the room is the big bay window looking out over the front drive. I had sudden images of the summer months shining through this window into my pretty-much-self-contained little room.
I can't wait to move in at the end of the month and finally feel as though I'm making real steps into adulthood.
I'd like to say that I've been especially busy, but in truth a lot of these past few months has been about settling in and finding my feet.
I never expected that launching into my adult life could be so hard and so easy all at the same time. There are so many aspects to it that have haunted most of my childhood, and yet coming face to face with them hasn't been all that bad. I feel as though a lot of adults - not so much my parents I should say, but others - take to scaring children and young adults with the horror of paying bills and mortgages while working long hours etc. I had a taste of bills and rent at university and couldn't understand the terror I'd had for them all that time prior. I assumed this was because I had a lot of spare time on my hands, and that perhaps I'd feel like those adults in my memory once I was busy with work. Except, now I'm employed and I still don't really understand the fuss. Of course, we'd all love to have buckets of free money and not have to work - but I don't think I ever saw that as a possibility, excepting instead the reality that I will work for a living and pay for a house.
What's hard, is the age-old frustration of wanting to grow up even quicker. A large part of me wants to skip ahead to when I've sorted out my career, have a house of my own, a husband, some kids, a dog and two holidays a year. But I know that the lessons I learn at this age while I'm just starting out are going to be invaluable for me later in life - and perhaps some day I'll look back with nostalgia on the freedom of my current situation. Instead, there are so many things that I want - and I am near entirely clueless how to start on the path towards getting them.
So here's what I've been up to these last six months:
Graduated University with a Law Degree
I ended up achieving a 2:2 from Bangor University in the wonderfully academic and widely respected subject of Law. It was a bizarre subject choice for someone who is adamant she will have nothing to do with the law-related careers, but it's one that is respected as an academic discipline by employers. I particularly enjoy the looks and accompanying "Ooh." comments that my subject choice inspires. I've learned that people make assumptions that I have an academic/bookworm brain and come to expect intelligence and logic from me as a result. It is considered a sensible choice - and I'm glad that I ignored the education professionals who told me that if I wasn't going to be a lawyer than Law was a moronic choice.
Found a Job
I took me two months after I graduated, but I eventually found a customer services position. This is by no means my career - but until I've had some experience in what I think I may want to do, this is the perfect learning experience. I have been fortunate to find a position within a large global company whose revenue is over $39 billion a year. I am in one of the smaller divisions, working in a primarily customer care role which turned out to have surprisingly expansive different aspects to it. The job is varied and very fast-paced. I find that the hours in my day whizz past quite quickly. I have the opportunity to do quite a bit of overtime, as well as be part of a very large and very successful company. So far it has been an exciting experience for me - I have learned a lot about business, team-building and managerial technique. It has further confirmed my desire to be within an office environment and I have strange dreams of running meetings/presentations or lending my ideas of innovation to the current systems in place.
All in all, I'm enjoying my time there - and am incredibly grateful that they like me enough to have extended my contract as I still feel I can gain a lot from the role. It feels fantastic to finally have the opportunity to be a part of a larger company and experience things from a more formal and corporate stand-point.
Got my Own Place
The moment my manager informed me that my contract was going to be extended, I took it upon myself to find myself a place to live. After a couple of months of searching and working out how much I wanted to spend and where I wanted to live, I finally found a place I really love.
I have spent the last six months sleeping on my Dad's couch and living out of boxes or free-standing clothes rails. It's something I've been used to already through my uni years when I came home from the holidays - but long term I began to feel the familiar and entirely human desire for independence and my own space. I needed for my things to have a place, and to have a bed to sleep on.
This last Friday, I made my decision and went with the flat I loved the best. This particular room is part of a house share with four other people. But each double bedroom comes with it's own ensuite bathroom and kitchenette. There is a communal kitchen and lounge area, as well as a sizeable back-garden, that are all looked after by cleaners and gardeners on a weekly basis. My room is a decent size, recently refurbished too so everything is brand new - especially, to my delight, the mattress. I will have a double bed, as well as a wardrobe and chest of drawers thrown in. The kitchenette has a full size kitchen sink surrounded by counter tops and cupboards. There's a fridge and plans to put a microwave in there for me as well. The bathroom is small but functional, with a shower, sink, medicine cabinet and toilet. There are tv ports and wireless internet through-out the house. But my favourite part of the room is the big bay window looking out over the front drive. I had sudden images of the summer months shining through this window into my pretty-much-self-contained little room.
I can't wait to move in at the end of the month and finally feel as though I'm making real steps into adulthood.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)