This is a post from my second blog which is a lot more freestyle in terms of what I post (from recipes to anecdotes). But since this post is about my 20's I figured I could share it here too :-)
I am moving to a new flat for the second time this year.
It is to be expected at this age of my life - perhaps 22 is designed to be tumultuous. It does seem a pity that I can't stay here. Part of me did want to renew my lease for another six months, and perhaps I would have done until the council made my landlord take the kitchen sinks out of our rooms. Suddenly my perfect little kitchenette turned into a glorified pantry, and I didn't have the ease of life that I was looking for.
I began looking for a new place over the last few weeks. I was certain I could find something as quickly as I had done in January when I last searched - but I was determined not to be impulsive and consider my options carefully. I've decided to stay near the city centre, and my even closer proximity to the mainline station in this new flat will save me half an hour each way on my commute.
I am pleased with my new flat and I look forward to moving there in a few weeks. It's still small, but perfect for just me. It's got a lounge/bedroom, a seperate (huge) kitchen, a small bathroom and even a storage corridor. There's also a lovely little garden which is communal. I'm looking forward to the move all in all - it's a better place and I'm bound to be happy once I'm settled. It's just all the organising that goes with it that I'm not looking forward to. There's so much to sort and so many addresses to change (AGAIN).
I guess most of all I'm just hoping that I love this place and it works out. I'm just so sick of boxes, and shifting, and adjusting, and settling. I'd like to be in one place for a little while. I'm certain it's all just part of being this age, and becoming an adult in this world. I'm hoping that one day I'll be able to really appreciate what I have when I'm older, because I'll know what a pain it is just to be this age and on your own.
I know it's a silly thing to complain about when some people don't even have a roof over their head - I am overwhelmingly proud of myself most of the time for what I've accomplished. It just feels like a lot to contend with sometimes, and I'm not altogether confident that I'm mature enough to handle it all at once. I'm learning that it's about taking one thing at a time before I overwhelm myself with to-do lists and pressure.
On the whole though, I do feel very positive about my (small) steps forward in life, I'm looking forward to spending some time really figuring out my life's direction in the next few months. It's been nearly a year since I graduated university, and already I feel like I've learned so much about myself and the world around me.
This new move feels like another step forward for me. As daunting as that is, I'm glad that I'm making progress.
Sunday, 7 July 2013
Sunday, 28 April 2013
Settling In
It's been another few months since my last update on here. I've now been at my current job for near 8 months and in my flat for 3 months.
Job
Work is going quite well. I've really settled in now and can hold my own as a full member of staff (despite my rolling temporary contract status). I have found my feet, and am starting to feel more influential in terms of innovation. Now that I'm familiar with the office processes, I've been doing my best to try and make these processes run smoother on my own merit. This has paid off greatly, only recently was one of the processes that I use been recognised as very efficient. I was approached by my manager and asked to create a template that the whole office could use as the new department-wide process. Best of all, she asked me to email it to everyone with an explanation of how it all works/how to use it.
I'm quite certain that a few of my colleagues felt this was a little bit of an overstep for a temp who was only been at the company for a few months. But I think I managed to be diplomatic enough in the email and humble enough in talking about it at lunches etc that they know I wasn't trying to be malicious/over-assertive.
I'm still asking a lot of questions everyday, but apparently I'm good enough to train the new members of staff on how some of the more thorough processes work - which I took as recognition that I'm doing something right.
In any case, I'm very grateful to be there - I feel like I'm learning a lot and it is fantastic to be a part of such a large company so soon after graduating. It hasn't even been a full year since I finished my last exams and I already feel like I'm learning invaluable lessons of business and management skills.
I still have little idea about what I eventually want to do - but at least I'm absorbed in something in the meantime!
Flat
The first couple of months here in this room felt a little odd. Nothing was really where I wanted it to be and I had to do a lot in the way of learning to deal with a much smaller space. However, I have a bed and my independence. Anything is better than continuing to live on my Dad's couch!
I'm almost where I want to be in having my flat all kitted out. I've got all my pictures up, my calendar etc all hung up and I'm quite settled with the position of all the furniture. My kitchen is finally all equipped with the appliances that I feel I need. Now I just need to find the time and energy to cook - which is a little harder with my long hours and commute.
One thing I have noticed - my room will go from sparkling clean and neat to complete tip within a few days if I don't stay on top of it. It's like being in my student accommodation again - the space is too small for any kind of mess or clutter. Also, I'm not altogether comfortable with the bag of rubbish sitting by the door because our grey wheelie bin was stolen and I have nowhere else to put it.
I still haven't really made friends with my housemates. We'll talk to each other briefly but there's no-one I've really clicked with yet. We all work long hours - but the new guy is very loud although I do enjoy when he sings every now and again because if I can hear him, then he can definitely hear my Beyonce impression :-)
Job
Work is going quite well. I've really settled in now and can hold my own as a full member of staff (despite my rolling temporary contract status). I have found my feet, and am starting to feel more influential in terms of innovation. Now that I'm familiar with the office processes, I've been doing my best to try and make these processes run smoother on my own merit. This has paid off greatly, only recently was one of the processes that I use been recognised as very efficient. I was approached by my manager and asked to create a template that the whole office could use as the new department-wide process. Best of all, she asked me to email it to everyone with an explanation of how it all works/how to use it.
I'm quite certain that a few of my colleagues felt this was a little bit of an overstep for a temp who was only been at the company for a few months. But I think I managed to be diplomatic enough in the email and humble enough in talking about it at lunches etc that they know I wasn't trying to be malicious/over-assertive.
I'm still asking a lot of questions everyday, but apparently I'm good enough to train the new members of staff on how some of the more thorough processes work - which I took as recognition that I'm doing something right.
In any case, I'm very grateful to be there - I feel like I'm learning a lot and it is fantastic to be a part of such a large company so soon after graduating. It hasn't even been a full year since I finished my last exams and I already feel like I'm learning invaluable lessons of business and management skills.
I still have little idea about what I eventually want to do - but at least I'm absorbed in something in the meantime!
Flat
The first couple of months here in this room felt a little odd. Nothing was really where I wanted it to be and I had to do a lot in the way of learning to deal with a much smaller space. However, I have a bed and my independence. Anything is better than continuing to live on my Dad's couch!
I'm almost where I want to be in having my flat all kitted out. I've got all my pictures up, my calendar etc all hung up and I'm quite settled with the position of all the furniture. My kitchen is finally all equipped with the appliances that I feel I need. Now I just need to find the time and energy to cook - which is a little harder with my long hours and commute.
One thing I have noticed - my room will go from sparkling clean and neat to complete tip within a few days if I don't stay on top of it. It's like being in my student accommodation again - the space is too small for any kind of mess or clutter. Also, I'm not altogether comfortable with the bag of rubbish sitting by the door because our grey wheelie bin was stolen and I have nowhere else to put it.
I still haven't really made friends with my housemates. We'll talk to each other briefly but there's no-one I've really clicked with yet. We all work long hours - but the new guy is very loud although I do enjoy when he sings every now and again because if I can hear him, then he can definitely hear my Beyonce impression :-)
Tuesday, 15 January 2013
Train Station Waiting Room
So here I sit, coughing away amongst the public, knowing that if it were someone else coughing then I'd be utterly disgusted but wanting only sympathy being sick myself.
I'm enjoying the girl in the fur coat reading, the gentleman in his 40s and a business suit using his iPad as a controller in a driving game, the crazed old woman muttering "hmm" to herself next to me.
I wonder what flash judgements people make of me. Today I'm the young woman in a blue lace dress with a 'slumming it' style hoody thrown on top. My hair is down and styled but I haven't got any makeup on. I would look at me and think "Fucking hell, go one way or the other."
But I can't walk in heels and already wake up too early.
In 1.5 weeks I will have moved into my new place and be sat on the other side of this platform in the waiting room without the toilets but trains that run every 15 minutes, as opposed to every 40. I'm starting to fear this big step, but there's no going back now.
I'm enjoying the girl in the fur coat reading, the gentleman in his 40s and a business suit using his iPad as a controller in a driving game, the crazed old woman muttering "hmm" to herself next to me.
I wonder what flash judgements people make of me. Today I'm the young woman in a blue lace dress with a 'slumming it' style hoody thrown on top. My hair is down and styled but I haven't got any makeup on. I would look at me and think "Fucking hell, go one way or the other."
But I can't walk in heels and already wake up too early.
In 1.5 weeks I will have moved into my new place and be sat on the other side of this platform in the waiting room without the toilets but trains that run every 15 minutes, as opposed to every 40. I'm starting to fear this big step, but there's no going back now.
Sunday, 6 January 2013
A New Year - The Six Month Update
It's been a little longer since my last blog post than it should have been.
I'd like to say that I've been especially busy, but in truth a lot of these past few months has been about settling in and finding my feet.
I never expected that launching into my adult life could be so hard and so easy all at the same time. There are so many aspects to it that have haunted most of my childhood, and yet coming face to face with them hasn't been all that bad. I feel as though a lot of adults - not so much my parents I should say, but others - take to scaring children and young adults with the horror of paying bills and mortgages while working long hours etc. I had a taste of bills and rent at university and couldn't understand the terror I'd had for them all that time prior. I assumed this was because I had a lot of spare time on my hands, and that perhaps I'd feel like those adults in my memory once I was busy with work. Except, now I'm employed and I still don't really understand the fuss. Of course, we'd all love to have buckets of free money and not have to work - but I don't think I ever saw that as a possibility, excepting instead the reality that I will work for a living and pay for a house.
What's hard, is the age-old frustration of wanting to grow up even quicker. A large part of me wants to skip ahead to when I've sorted out my career, have a house of my own, a husband, some kids, a dog and two holidays a year. But I know that the lessons I learn at this age while I'm just starting out are going to be invaluable for me later in life - and perhaps some day I'll look back with nostalgia on the freedom of my current situation. Instead, there are so many things that I want - and I am near entirely clueless how to start on the path towards getting them.
So here's what I've been up to these last six months:
Graduated University with a Law Degree
I ended up achieving a 2:2 from Bangor University in the wonderfully academic and widely respected subject of Law. It was a bizarre subject choice for someone who is adamant she will have nothing to do with the law-related careers, but it's one that is respected as an academic discipline by employers. I particularly enjoy the looks and accompanying "Ooh." comments that my subject choice inspires. I've learned that people make assumptions that I have an academic/bookworm brain and come to expect intelligence and logic from me as a result. It is considered a sensible choice - and I'm glad that I ignored the education professionals who told me that if I wasn't going to be a lawyer than Law was a moronic choice.
Found a Job
I took me two months after I graduated, but I eventually found a customer services position. This is by no means my career - but until I've had some experience in what I think I may want to do, this is the perfect learning experience. I have been fortunate to find a position within a large global company whose revenue is over $39 billion a year. I am in one of the smaller divisions, working in a primarily customer care role which turned out to have surprisingly expansive different aspects to it. The job is varied and very fast-paced. I find that the hours in my day whizz past quite quickly. I have the opportunity to do quite a bit of overtime, as well as be part of a very large and very successful company. So far it has been an exciting experience for me - I have learned a lot about business, team-building and managerial technique. It has further confirmed my desire to be within an office environment and I have strange dreams of running meetings/presentations or lending my ideas of innovation to the current systems in place.
All in all, I'm enjoying my time there - and am incredibly grateful that they like me enough to have extended my contract as I still feel I can gain a lot from the role. It feels fantastic to finally have the opportunity to be a part of a larger company and experience things from a more formal and corporate stand-point.
Got my Own Place
The moment my manager informed me that my contract was going to be extended, I took it upon myself to find myself a place to live. After a couple of months of searching and working out how much I wanted to spend and where I wanted to live, I finally found a place I really love.
I have spent the last six months sleeping on my Dad's couch and living out of boxes or free-standing clothes rails. It's something I've been used to already through my uni years when I came home from the holidays - but long term I began to feel the familiar and entirely human desire for independence and my own space. I needed for my things to have a place, and to have a bed to sleep on.
This last Friday, I made my decision and went with the flat I loved the best. This particular room is part of a house share with four other people. But each double bedroom comes with it's own ensuite bathroom and kitchenette. There is a communal kitchen and lounge area, as well as a sizeable back-garden, that are all looked after by cleaners and gardeners on a weekly basis. My room is a decent size, recently refurbished too so everything is brand new - especially, to my delight, the mattress. I will have a double bed, as well as a wardrobe and chest of drawers thrown in. The kitchenette has a full size kitchen sink surrounded by counter tops and cupboards. There's a fridge and plans to put a microwave in there for me as well. The bathroom is small but functional, with a shower, sink, medicine cabinet and toilet. There are tv ports and wireless internet through-out the house. But my favourite part of the room is the big bay window looking out over the front drive. I had sudden images of the summer months shining through this window into my pretty-much-self-contained little room.
I can't wait to move in at the end of the month and finally feel as though I'm making real steps into adulthood.
I'd like to say that I've been especially busy, but in truth a lot of these past few months has been about settling in and finding my feet.
I never expected that launching into my adult life could be so hard and so easy all at the same time. There are so many aspects to it that have haunted most of my childhood, and yet coming face to face with them hasn't been all that bad. I feel as though a lot of adults - not so much my parents I should say, but others - take to scaring children and young adults with the horror of paying bills and mortgages while working long hours etc. I had a taste of bills and rent at university and couldn't understand the terror I'd had for them all that time prior. I assumed this was because I had a lot of spare time on my hands, and that perhaps I'd feel like those adults in my memory once I was busy with work. Except, now I'm employed and I still don't really understand the fuss. Of course, we'd all love to have buckets of free money and not have to work - but I don't think I ever saw that as a possibility, excepting instead the reality that I will work for a living and pay for a house.
What's hard, is the age-old frustration of wanting to grow up even quicker. A large part of me wants to skip ahead to when I've sorted out my career, have a house of my own, a husband, some kids, a dog and two holidays a year. But I know that the lessons I learn at this age while I'm just starting out are going to be invaluable for me later in life - and perhaps some day I'll look back with nostalgia on the freedom of my current situation. Instead, there are so many things that I want - and I am near entirely clueless how to start on the path towards getting them.
So here's what I've been up to these last six months:
Graduated University with a Law Degree
I ended up achieving a 2:2 from Bangor University in the wonderfully academic and widely respected subject of Law. It was a bizarre subject choice for someone who is adamant she will have nothing to do with the law-related careers, but it's one that is respected as an academic discipline by employers. I particularly enjoy the looks and accompanying "Ooh." comments that my subject choice inspires. I've learned that people make assumptions that I have an academic/bookworm brain and come to expect intelligence and logic from me as a result. It is considered a sensible choice - and I'm glad that I ignored the education professionals who told me that if I wasn't going to be a lawyer than Law was a moronic choice.
Found a Job
I took me two months after I graduated, but I eventually found a customer services position. This is by no means my career - but until I've had some experience in what I think I may want to do, this is the perfect learning experience. I have been fortunate to find a position within a large global company whose revenue is over $39 billion a year. I am in one of the smaller divisions, working in a primarily customer care role which turned out to have surprisingly expansive different aspects to it. The job is varied and very fast-paced. I find that the hours in my day whizz past quite quickly. I have the opportunity to do quite a bit of overtime, as well as be part of a very large and very successful company. So far it has been an exciting experience for me - I have learned a lot about business, team-building and managerial technique. It has further confirmed my desire to be within an office environment and I have strange dreams of running meetings/presentations or lending my ideas of innovation to the current systems in place.
All in all, I'm enjoying my time there - and am incredibly grateful that they like me enough to have extended my contract as I still feel I can gain a lot from the role. It feels fantastic to finally have the opportunity to be a part of a larger company and experience things from a more formal and corporate stand-point.
Got my Own Place
The moment my manager informed me that my contract was going to be extended, I took it upon myself to find myself a place to live. After a couple of months of searching and working out how much I wanted to spend and where I wanted to live, I finally found a place I really love.
I have spent the last six months sleeping on my Dad's couch and living out of boxes or free-standing clothes rails. It's something I've been used to already through my uni years when I came home from the holidays - but long term I began to feel the familiar and entirely human desire for independence and my own space. I needed for my things to have a place, and to have a bed to sleep on.
This last Friday, I made my decision and went with the flat I loved the best. This particular room is part of a house share with four other people. But each double bedroom comes with it's own ensuite bathroom and kitchenette. There is a communal kitchen and lounge area, as well as a sizeable back-garden, that are all looked after by cleaners and gardeners on a weekly basis. My room is a decent size, recently refurbished too so everything is brand new - especially, to my delight, the mattress. I will have a double bed, as well as a wardrobe and chest of drawers thrown in. The kitchenette has a full size kitchen sink surrounded by counter tops and cupboards. There's a fridge and plans to put a microwave in there for me as well. The bathroom is small but functional, with a shower, sink, medicine cabinet and toilet. There are tv ports and wireless internet through-out the house. But my favourite part of the room is the big bay window looking out over the front drive. I had sudden images of the summer months shining through this window into my pretty-much-self-contained little room.
I can't wait to move in at the end of the month and finally feel as though I'm making real steps into adulthood.
Monday, 6 August 2012
Keeping Busy
While my fervent job search continues, I have been trying to keep myself busy each day. In these traditionally summer months, its all too tempting to surrender to the heat and let myself take a back seat. Tempting as it is, it's not a good idea and I've been actively trying to keep my brain on its toes so that I'm ready to jump in the deep end of my career in case the opportunity presents.
So here follows my top 5 favourite ways to keep myself busy:
1) Work - I am so fortunate that my old between-semester job continues to take me back again and again. For now I'm working on an ad hoc basis - taking hours as and when they come up, covering shifts at varying times in varying roles. It's a fantastic way to keep my finger on the pulse, continuing to build on my business setting skills whilst earning some money as an added bonus.
2) Write - It's purely a hobby of mine, and one I like to indulge in my spare time usually, yet while I'm between jobs I can't think of a better way to stimulate my mind and creative side.
3) Run - As a die-hard fan of the colder winter months, the heat and I don't usually agree - especially since my very fair skin tends to burn quite quickly. I am, however, determined that I should keep physically active and work towards my personal fitness goals whenever I can. As such, I have taken to running each day, adding more and more distance as I go to build up stamina and improve on my fitness levels.
4) Cook - I am by no means a gifted chef. What I do possess is an unflagging enthusiasm for experimentation, and thus my kitchen creations have been met with a new energy. I'm not saying it's always entirely edible, but it's been fun to learn what works and what doesn't. (FYI pear, cheddar and almonds in a salad is a surprisingly nice combo!)
5) Read - I'm an avid reader. It's what I love to do. For me, books contain not only lessons on writing (how to write well, or indeed how to write badly), but also inspiration in the form of creative ideas - stories which work, characters which are interesting, parallels in books with real life and whether these are effective. They're educational for me, whether fictional or not.
Part of me still can't believe it's August already. In many ways the time has moved so quickly. Yet when I stop and think about it, so much has happened in the month and a half that I've been home that it seems not enough time has passed at all.
So here follows my top 5 favourite ways to keep myself busy:
1) Work - I am so fortunate that my old between-semester job continues to take me back again and again. For now I'm working on an ad hoc basis - taking hours as and when they come up, covering shifts at varying times in varying roles. It's a fantastic way to keep my finger on the pulse, continuing to build on my business setting skills whilst earning some money as an added bonus.
2) Write - It's purely a hobby of mine, and one I like to indulge in my spare time usually, yet while I'm between jobs I can't think of a better way to stimulate my mind and creative side.
3) Run - As a die-hard fan of the colder winter months, the heat and I don't usually agree - especially since my very fair skin tends to burn quite quickly. I am, however, determined that I should keep physically active and work towards my personal fitness goals whenever I can. As such, I have taken to running each day, adding more and more distance as I go to build up stamina and improve on my fitness levels.
4) Cook - I am by no means a gifted chef. What I do possess is an unflagging enthusiasm for experimentation, and thus my kitchen creations have been met with a new energy. I'm not saying it's always entirely edible, but it's been fun to learn what works and what doesn't. (FYI pear, cheddar and almonds in a salad is a surprisingly nice combo!)
5) Read - I'm an avid reader. It's what I love to do. For me, books contain not only lessons on writing (how to write well, or indeed how to write badly), but also inspiration in the form of creative ideas - stories which work, characters which are interesting, parallels in books with real life and whether these are effective. They're educational for me, whether fictional or not.
Part of me still can't believe it's August already. In many ways the time has moved so quickly. Yet when I stop and think about it, so much has happened in the month and a half that I've been home that it seems not enough time has passed at all.
Wednesday, 20 June 2012
Time to be an Adult
So it began...
I finally finished university and after two weeks of saying goodbye, packing, and living the laziest life imaginable, I finally came home to Berkshire to begin my life as an adult.
Everybody tells you how scary and exciting it is, but until it's all happening I don't think you actually gather a real appreciation for it. I've surprised even myself with my dedication to finding a job. It would appear that in every spare moment I am looking at job sites - desperate to find anything that will launch my career just as soon as possible.
I know that a couple of my friends intend to wait, they want to give themselves the summer to relax after what was a gruelling final year. But I've no interest in delaying the inevitable. I can't wait to start earning money and proving myself in a professional setting. I can't wait to demonstrate just how much I can really achieve and start progressing up the career ladder. So I find myself on my laptop, on my iPhone and even on my iPad, opening a fresh tab and looking for jobs - always looking for jobs.
I spent the day searching and applying for positions as usual, as well as doing some laundry in order to take advantage of the fantastic weather and its clothes drying potential. Tomorrow I face much the same kind of day, although it all changes after 3:30pm.
3:30pm - Results Released
I can call for my degree classification after 3:30pm tomorrow. I've done the maths, and it's near impossible for me to fail or get a 3rd, but definitely impossible for me to get a 1st. That leaves me but two options: a 2:1 or a 2:2.
Obviously I am hoping and praying that it's a 2:1 and I can be proud of myself and my ability to pull my shit together. But I have resigned myself to the idea that it is likely a 2:2 - I know in my heart of hearts how that Land Law exam went and I'm not confident that any amount of good grades can counteract how badly I feel that exam has gone. I will find out for sure tomorrow, but I'm not exactly excited. It's all quite terrifying and real.
I have already decided that should I achieve a 2:2 I will only tell the bare minimum of people. It's still a degree, it's still a good degree in fact. But I would know that I could have done better, and I would be especially hurt in pride if the friends who have 2:1's were to congratulate me or try to console me in any way. I'm very happy for them, truly - but I'm not sure I'd want to admit that I'd done worse than they had. Not until I'd found a job and was doing well in another way.
In any case, it's all launching off. My 20s are going to be an exciting time that I feel I should document in any way possible - largely for my own entertainment, but if anyone else finds this remotely interesting than I suppose that's a healthy bonus!
I finally finished university and after two weeks of saying goodbye, packing, and living the laziest life imaginable, I finally came home to Berkshire to begin my life as an adult.
Everybody tells you how scary and exciting it is, but until it's all happening I don't think you actually gather a real appreciation for it. I've surprised even myself with my dedication to finding a job. It would appear that in every spare moment I am looking at job sites - desperate to find anything that will launch my career just as soon as possible.
I know that a couple of my friends intend to wait, they want to give themselves the summer to relax after what was a gruelling final year. But I've no interest in delaying the inevitable. I can't wait to start earning money and proving myself in a professional setting. I can't wait to demonstrate just how much I can really achieve and start progressing up the career ladder. So I find myself on my laptop, on my iPhone and even on my iPad, opening a fresh tab and looking for jobs - always looking for jobs.
I spent the day searching and applying for positions as usual, as well as doing some laundry in order to take advantage of the fantastic weather and its clothes drying potential. Tomorrow I face much the same kind of day, although it all changes after 3:30pm.
3:30pm - Results Released
I can call for my degree classification after 3:30pm tomorrow. I've done the maths, and it's near impossible for me to fail or get a 3rd, but definitely impossible for me to get a 1st. That leaves me but two options: a 2:1 or a 2:2.
Obviously I am hoping and praying that it's a 2:1 and I can be proud of myself and my ability to pull my shit together. But I have resigned myself to the idea that it is likely a 2:2 - I know in my heart of hearts how that Land Law exam went and I'm not confident that any amount of good grades can counteract how badly I feel that exam has gone. I will find out for sure tomorrow, but I'm not exactly excited. It's all quite terrifying and real.
I have already decided that should I achieve a 2:2 I will only tell the bare minimum of people. It's still a degree, it's still a good degree in fact. But I would know that I could have done better, and I would be especially hurt in pride if the friends who have 2:1's were to congratulate me or try to console me in any way. I'm very happy for them, truly - but I'm not sure I'd want to admit that I'd done worse than they had. Not until I'd found a job and was doing well in another way.
In any case, it's all launching off. My 20s are going to be an exciting time that I feel I should document in any way possible - largely for my own entertainment, but if anyone else finds this remotely interesting than I suppose that's a healthy bonus!
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